250+ Sarcastic Fake People Quotes

Sarcastic Fake People Quotes: We all come across fake people in our lives – those who pretend to be someone they’re not. Dealing with such people can be frustrating and annoying. Using sarcastic humor and witty comebacks is one way to handle fake people. In this article, we have compiled over 300 sarcastic quotes about fake people that you can use the next time you encounter one.

The quotes are divided into three sections – general sarcastic quotes about fake people, fed up sarcastic quotes, and insulting sarcastic fake people quotes. You can use these quotes on social media, in conversations, or even on t-shirts and posters!

So the next time a fake friend or manipulative person tries to take advantage of you, bust out one of these sarcastic quotes and put them in their place without losing your cool.

Sarcastic Fake People Quotes

1. Thanks for being so fake with me. I could always use more imaginary friends.
2. I’m allergic to fake people. pretends to sneeze
3. The only real thing about you is how fake you are.
4. Fake people have an image to maintain. Real people just don’t care.
5. Save water – shower with a fake friend.
6. I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies. Real friends over fake friends.
7. Fake people use you as a stepping stone. Real friends want to see you rise.
8. I don’t have time for fake smiles and forced conversations. Bye.
9. Being fake is the new trend, and you’re ahead of the curve.
10. Fake friends: Plastic is cheaper than gold these days.
11. The only thing thicker than our friendship is your fake personality.
12. I don’t need a mask to spot a fake person.
13. Lie to me once, shame on you. Lie to me twice, get better at lying.
14. Thanks for being honest about your dishonesty. I appreciate fake people who are real about it.
15. Fake people call it ‘tact’. I call it lack of spine.
16. I prefer my friends fertilizer-free. No fakes.
17. Make like a banana and split, faker.
18. Fake friends are like autumn leaves – they change colors and blow away.
19. I’m drawing the line. Feel free to cross it with your fake persona.
20. Can you get plastic surgery for your fake personality? Asking for a friend.
21. I don’t have enough middle fingers for all the fake people in my life.
22. Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one. I’ll take a real friend over a fake one.
23. The only fake I appreciate is extra vacation days. Fake people – not so much.
24. Being around fake people is like being constipated. Full of crap and can’t push them away.
25. I need a hazmat suit when fake people are around. Toxicity levels are too high.
26. Fake people and mannequins have a lot in common. Especially the plastic part.
27. I’m all for recycling. Can I trade my fake friends in for newer models?
28. Fake friends are like unicorns – they don’t exist.
29. Did you know dish soap gets rid of grease stains? It works for fake friendships too.
30. I’m tired of meeting your representatives. When can I speak with the real you?
31. Are you always fake or do you practice in your spare time?
32. I see why heat melts plastic. It works on fake people too.
33. Save the drama for your mama. This friend doesn’t do fake.
34. Sorry, my phone screen cracks easily. No fake friendships allowed.
35. Don’t be plastic. Be fantastic. Drop the fake friends.
36. Fake people need batteries. Real people recharge my soul.
37. I don’t dial fake numbers. Drop the act.
38. I’m allergic to BS. Stay away fake people.
39. I don’t speak fake language. English only, please.
40. Trust takes years to build but seconds to break with fake friends.
41. Rumors spread fast by fake people. The truth is not their priority.
42. Being fake is the only real thing about your personality.
43. I’d give you a nasty look but your fake personality already has that covered.
44. Speak the truth even if your voice shakes. Don’t be fake.
45. The only fakes I like are eyelashes and fingernails. People, not so much.
46. I don’t need a fake GPS voice telling me the wrong directions. I have enough fake friendships.
47. Plastic plants need fake sunlight. Is that why you need fake friends?
48. Don’t be proud of being fake. It just makes you a liar.
49. I’d wish you good luck but fake people make their own.
50. I’m real. You faking it. End of friendship.
51. Being fake is just lying with extra steps.
52. I’m tracking how many fake people I meet on my fakometer app. You just increased the count.
53. Save your apologies. The trust you broke cannot be fake fixed.
54. I have X-ray vision for fake friendships. Yours showed all plastic.
55. Don’t be adummy. Drop the fakery.
56. My standards are sky high. Try being a real person for a change.
57. I have important stuff to deal with. You’re no longer one of them, faker.
58. I don’t drink fake tea. Go sip your lies elsewhere.
59. Fake people and mannequins have a lot in common, especially the plastic part.
60. Speaking of fake, how have you been?
61. Being fake comes so naturally to you.
62. I would say “be yourself,” but I don’t actually know who that is.
63. I don’t have time for your fake persona today.
64. Are you being fake again? It’s hard to keep track.
65. I see right through you, if you know what I mean.
66. The only thing real about you is how fake you are.
67. I prefer honest jerks over fake friends.
68. Stop pretending to be something you’re not.
69. Being around you requires a hazmat suit. Your fakeness is toxic.
70. I see why people use botox. If your face matches your fake personality.
71. Speak lies loudly and carry a fake stick. Seems to work for you.
72. I don’t need plastic plants. Your fake friendship suffices.
73. You pretend so hard, I forgot you were pretending.
74. Don’t be proud of being shady. It just makes you a fake.
75. Are you a politician? Because your fakeness is on point.
76. I see through your mask, Halloween isn’t until October.
77. I’d give you a nasty look, but your fake personality already has that covered.
78. I’d say be yourself, but I don’t actually know who that is.
79. Did you know they make vaccines for fake personalities now? You should look into it.
80. I don’t speak your language. English only please.
81. Rumors spread fast by fake people. The truth is not a priority.
82. Don’t be a puppet. Cut your strings and drop the act.
83. Being fake comes so naturally to you. It’s almost impressive.
84. I would say “break a leg” but fakes don’t actually have bones.
85. I don’t dial fake numbers. Lose my digits.
86. Make like a tree and leaf. I don’t do fake.
87. Speaking of fakes, how have you been?
88. I see fakeness runs in your family. It bred true.
89. Leave the acting on stage. I prefer genuine friends.
90. Are you even a real person or just a mashup of fake personas?
91. I don’t speak liar. Try again without the fake accent.
92. I don’t have enough middle fingers for all the fakes in my life.
93. Friends wash each other’s backs. Fake people stab them.
94. Believe half of what you see. None of what a fake says.
95. I’m tired of your rehearsed reactions. I want the real you.
96. I prefer honesty over fakeness. Don’t be a pretender.

Fed Up Sarcastic Quotes About Fake People

1. I’m allergic to fake BS. Stay far away from me.
2. You’re not fake, you’re just a pathological liar. My bad.
3. I’m drawing the line. Cross it with your fake self at your own risk.
4. Roses are red, violets are blue, our friendship is fake, and so are you.
5. Can you get surgery to remove your fake personality? Asking for myself.
6. Speak lies loudly and carry a big fake stick. Fits you nicely.
7. I’m fed up of your false masks. Time to see the real you.
8. I’m tired of tripping over your lies and fake promises.
9. The only real thing about our friendship was how fake it was.
10. I’m so over your fake stories. Sell crazy somewhere else.
11. I can’t deal with this fake relationship. Consider this my breakup.
12. Our fake friendship expired. Please don’t renew.
13. I’m drawing the line. If you cross it, you’re gonna have a bad time.
14. I don’t have the energy for fake friends. Bye forever.
15. The only real thing about you is how fake you are. It’s impressive, really.
16. I’m fed up with your lies. Call me when you find the truth.
17. I’m allergic to fake people. Stay away if you wanna live.
18. Our fake friendship is officially over. Please exit through the gift shop.
19. I’m refunding our friendship. No fakes allowed.
20. Sorry, I don’t speak liar. English only, please.
21. I’m drained from our fake relationship. Consider me retired.
22. I’m instituting a strict “No Fakers” policy from now on. Spread the word.
23. I don’t have time for your fabricated fables. Bye forever.
24. Sorry, I don’t remember fake friends. Who are you again?
25. I’m taking out a restraining order on our fake friendship. Goodbye forever.
26. Roses are red, violets are blue, our fake friendship is over, please get lost.
27. I’m done with your BS. Call me when you find the truth.
28. Stop lying to me or we’re done. I hate fake people.
29. Our fake relationship just took its last breath. RIP.
30. I’m allergic to fake people. Stay 200 feet away at all times.
31. Since our friendship is fake, I’m ghosting you now. Bye bye.
32. I don’t trust fakes, so this friendship is officially over.
33. I’m instituting a strict “No Fakers” policy from now on. You’ve been banned.
34. Sorry, I don’t remember purchasing a fake friendship. I want a refund.
35. I’m evicting you from my life for fake behavior. Please vacate the premises.
36. Consider this your formal fake friend eviction notice. Good riddance.
37. I’m building a wall around my life. Fake friends can’t come in.
38. Save your fake apologies. Your lies mean nothing to me now. Goodbye.
39. Our friendship expired long ago. Stop trying to milk more fakeness out of it.
40. I’m enacting a zero tolerance policy on fakeness. You’re hereby banished.
41. I’m allergic to drama, especially the fake kind. Stay away.
42. Sorry, I only collect real friends. No fakes allowed in my circle.
43. I don’t need fake friends. Real ones energize my soul. You just drain it.
44. I’m refunding this fake friendship. No fakes allowed anymore.
45. Sorry, store policy says no returns on fake friendships. You’re stuck with yourself.
46. I’m building an emotional fortress. Fake backstabbers can’t come in.
47. Do better. Be better. Stop being fake. It’s not that hard.
48. You’ve been evicted from my friend group for excessive fakeness. Please leave promptly.
49. I’m enacting a “no fakes” policy for all future friendships. Our expired fake one taught me that. Thanks and goodbye.
50. Consider yourself banned for fake behavior. Real friends only from now on.
51. I’m allergic to BS so consider this my goodbye forever. I hate fake people.
52. Stop pretending you ever cared. Our fake friendship was one-sided and I’m done.
53. Our friendship contract has been nullified due to breaches of authenticity clauses. Goodbye forever.
54. I’m building an emotional wall. Fake backstabbers like you can’t come in anymore.
55. Sorry, I don’t remember purchasing any fake friends. You must have the wrong number.
56. I’m enacting a no fakes allowed policy from now on. Our friendship is officially expired.
57. I don’t negotiate with fake people. Consider yourself ghosted.
58. I’m instituting a strict “No Fakers” policy for all future friends. Feel free not to apply.
59. Roses are red, violets are blue, don’t let the door hit you on the way out, our friendship is through.

Sarcastic Insulting Fake People Quotes

1. Did anyone ever tell you your fake personality totally sucks?
2. Sorry, I don’t speak liar. I’ll wait until you learn English.
3. Fake people need batteries. You must be running low soon.
4. Are you always a fake jerk or do you just practice a lot?
5. I’m allergic to fake morons like you. Stay 500 feet away.
6. Don’t be proud of being shady. It just makes you a fake loser.
7. Being fake comes so naturally to you. Were you born talentless?
8. I’m fed up of constantly tripping over your lies and fake promises, idiot.
9. I’m filing a restraining order on our friendship. Being around fakes like you is harmful.
10. Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate fake people, especially you.
11. You must have gotten last place in charm school. Is that why you’re so fake now?
12. I’m drawing the line. Feel free to cross it, fake moron.
13. The only real thing about you is how fake you are, loser.
14. Are you even a real person or just a mashup of fake personas, faker?
15. I don’t speak liar. Try again without the fake accent, idiot.
16. Believe half of what you see, none of what a fake like you says.
17. Leave the acting to professionals on TV. I prefer real friends, not fakes like you.
18. I’m filing a restraining order on our ex-friendship. Stay away from me, faker!
19. I’m instituting a strict No Fakers Allowed policy. Spread the word, loser.
20. Talk to the hand. I don’t have time for fake people like you.
21. I’m building a wall around my friend group. Fakes like you can’t come in.
22. Do better. Be better. Stop being so fake. It’s not that hard, faker.
23. I’m enacting a zero tolerance policy on fakeness. You’re hereby banished, liar.
24. Our expired fake friendship taught me to avoid fakes like you. Thanks and goodbye forever, jerk.
25. Consider yourself banned for fake behavior. I only like real people, not phonies like you.
26. I’m refunding our fake friendship. No fakes or morons allowed anymore. Got it, faker?
27. I’m allergic to BS so consider this my goodbye forever. I hate fake losers like you.
28. Letting fakes like you into my life was a mistake I won’t repeat. Goodbye for good.
29. I don’t negotiate fake friendships with jerks and liars like you. Consider yourself ghosted.
30. Sorry, I don’t remember purchasing any fake friends, especially idiots like you. You must have the wrong number, moron.
31. I’m sorry, your fake personality expired. Please get a real one and then we can be friends, loser.
32. I don’t have enough middle fingers for all the fake people like you in my life. Moron.
33. Make like a tree and leaf. I don’t do fake phonies like you.
34. Are you still here? I thought I told you to get lost, faker.
35. I’m sorry, I don’t speak fake. Try again when you learn how to be real.
36. I’m allergic to drama, especially fake jerks like you who create it. Stay away!
37. I’m recycling our fake friendship thanks to idiots like you. Don’t worry, you won’t be replaced.
38. I’m trading in our fake friendship for a working model. No lemons or fakes allowed.
39. Sorry, we’re all out of fake friends today. Try being real instead, loser.
40. I don’t remember purchasing a defective fake friendship. I want a refund, moron.
41. Are you a puppet? The amount of strings fake people like you have is insane.
42. I’m charging you double fake tax for our pretend friendship. You owe me big time.
43. I don’t speak pretender. Come back when you learn how to be real.
44. I see being a jerk comes naturally to fakes like you. Interesting talent.
45. Did you take voice lessons to master that fake accent of yours? Impressive commitment.
46. I’m building a fortress against fake backstabbers like you. Stay out!
47. Do better, be better. Stop being such a fake loser. It’s not that hard.
48. Sorry, store policy says no returns allowed on defective fake friends like you.
49. Our contract is void due to your fakeness breaches. Goodbye forever, idiot.
50. Your lack of authenticity has ruined our friendship. Consider yourself dumped, faker.
51. I’m really looking forward to never seeing you again after this fake friendship ends today. Good riddance, loser!
52. I don’t speak liar well enough to communicate with fakes like you. Bye forever!
53. I’m curating my circle and fake phonies like you don’t make the cut. Goodbye!
54. I’m now only taking friendship applications from real people. Fakes like you need not apply.
55. I’m enacting a no fake morons policy effective immediately. Our friendship is so over.
56. Your fakeness is like a virus corrupting real relationships. I’m cutting you off to stop the spread. Goodbye!
57. I don’t negotiate with fake terrorists who hold friendships hostage with lies. Consider yourself ghosted!
58. Please stop pretending you care. Our expired fake friendship was completely one-sided. Bye forever, faker!
59. I’m building an emotional wall and installing an idiot alarm. Fakes like you won’t be getting past it ever again.
60. I’m refunding this defective fake friendship and getting myself an upgrade. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!
61. I’m enacting a strict No Fakers Allowed Policy after wasting time on losers like you. Real friends only from now on!
62. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m way overdue, for dumping fakes like you.
63. Make like a tree and leaf me alone, faker. Our fake friendship is so over.
64. I’m serving our fake friendship with divorce papers. Consider yourself dumped and served!
65. I’m burying our fake-dead friendship six feet under. May it never resurrect again! Rest in pieces!
66. Sorry, all defective fake friends like you are now being recalled. Please return yourself and get lost.
67. I don’t negotiate with fake terrorists who hold friendships hostage with lies. Consider yourself banished!
68. I’m opening up a Fake Jerks Museum and you’ll be the first exhibit! Congrats, loser!
69. I’m amputating our infected fake friendship to save the rest of my real ones. Goodbye and good riddance!
70. Sorry, I don’t remember purchasing any defective fake friends like you. You must have the wrong number, idiot.
71. I’m now only taking BFF applications from real people. Fake phonies like you need not apply. Ever.
72. Do better, be better. Stop being such a fake jerk loser. I know real people are capable of change. Just not you.
73. I’m serving our expired fake friendship with eviction papers. Start packing your lies and get out!
74. Roses are red, violets are blue, and our friendship is through, don’t let the door hit you! Bye fake loser!
75. I don’t negotiate with fake terrorists who hold relationships hostage. Consider yourself banished!
76. I’m enacting a no-gullibility policy. Fake abusers like you will never trick me again. So long sucker!
77. Make like a tree and leaf me alone. I’m done with our fake phony friendship. Peace out faker!
78. I’m trading in our expired defective fake friendship for an upgrade. Sayonara faker!
79. Please stop pretending you ever cared. Our one-sided fake friendship is so over. Bye forever!
80. I’m serving this fake friendship with divorce papers. Let’s end this sham for good! Adios loser!
81. Consider yourself banned for excessive fakeness and jerk behavior. I learned my lesson with you.
82. I’m now only taking real BFF applications. Fake phonies like you need not apply. Ever.
83. Your lack of authenticity has ruined our relationship. Consider yourself dumped. Good riddance!
84. I’m opening up a Fake Friends Museum and you’ll be the first exhibit and cautionary tale! Kudos faker!
85. Sorry, all recalled defective fake friends must be returned immediately. Please remove yourself from my life ASAP.
86. I’m curing all the fake cancers like you from my friendships. Our expired one is being surgically removed. Goodbye forever!
87. I’m enacting a zero tolerance policy on fakeness effective immediately. Our so-called friendship is done.
88. Your fakeness is like a virus ruining genuine relationships. I’m cutting off contact to contain the outbreak. Peace out phony!
89. I’m serving this fake friendship its last rights and last rites. Consider the sham buried for good. Amen, loser!
90. Make like a banana and split. I’m ripe over fake people like you.
91. I’m refunding this phony fake friendship. No Faker McFakersons allowed anymore!
92. Our friendship expired when your true fake colors showed. Consider this your final farewell. Buh bye now!
93. I’m opening up a Fake Friends Zoo and you’ll be the main attraction! Come one, come all to see the phoniest friend ever!
94. I’m amputating our infected sham of a friendship to save my real ones from fakes like you. Bye forever!
95. Your fakeness and lies have terminated our contract. Consider yourself served and divorced. It’s splitsville for us!
96. I’m enacting a no gullibility clause for all future friendships. Get lost and stay lost, faker!
97. Make like Yesterday’s News and get out of my life. I’m so over our fake relationship.
98. I’m trading up and trading in our expired worthless fake friendship for something real. Sayonara faker!
99. Consider yourself banned for excessive fakeness and jerk behavior. I learned my lesson with phonies like you.
100. I’m opening up a Fake Friends Zoo and you’ll be the main attraction! Come one, come all to see the phoniest ex-friend ever!
101. Sorry, all fake friends are being recalled. Please remove your phony self from my real friendships immediately.
102. Your lack of authenticity and sincerity has ruined our relationship. Consider yourself dumped. Good riddance!
103. I’m refunding this counterfeit fake friendship and getting myself the real deal instead. Kick rocks, faker!
104. I don’t negotiate with fake emotional terrorists who hold relationships hostage. Consider yourself banished!
105. Make like Forest Gump and run far, far away from me and real friends. I’m done with our fake phony friendship.
106. I’m now only accepting friendship applications from genuine people. Manipulative fakes like you need not apply. Ever!
107. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m way better off, without fakes like you!
108. 274.I’m serving this fraudulent friendship with divorce papers. Let’s end this sham for good! Hasta la vista, liar!
109. Our contract was breached due to your fakeness so it’s null and void. Consider this goodbye forever, ex-friend.
110. I’m opening up a Fake Friends Museum and you’ll be the first cautionary exhibit! Congrats, you phony!
111. Make like Forrest Gump and keep running far away. Our fake toxic friendship is done.
112. I’m trading up and dumping our worthless expired fake friendship. Sayonara faker!
113. Consider yourself banned for excessive fakeness and shadiness. I actually learn from my mistakes.
114. Your lack of sincerity and authenticity has terminated our contract. Good riddance, liar!
115. I’m serving this fraudulent sham of a friendship with eviction papers. Start packing your lies and get out!
116. Sorry, all fake defective friends are being recalled. Remove yourself from my circle immediately, poser!
117. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m so over you, and our fake friendship too!
118. Make like a banana and split. I’m ripe from your phoniness and lies!
119. I’m enacting a no gullibility policy effective immediately. Manipulators like you can’t fool me again!
120. Your fakeness is a disease. I’m cutting you off to quarantine and cure our circle of fakes like you. Bye forever!
121. I’m opening up a Fake Friends Museum and you’ll be the first cautionary exhibit and spectacle! Congrats phony!
122. Consider this your final farewell forever. I’m dumping our fake expired worthless friendship and trading up for something real.
123. I’m serving this fraudulent friendship with a restraining order. Stay 500 feet away from me and all real people, faker!
124. Our contract was breached by your fakeness so it’s null and void. Goodbye forever, liar!
125. Make like Forrest Gump and keep running far away from me and my real friends. Our fake toxic relationship is done!
126. I’m refunding this counterfeit friendship and investing in the real thing going forward. Adios faker!
127. Roses are red, violets are blue, don’t let the door hit you, our fake friendship is through!
128. I’m opening up a Fake Friends Cautionary Tale Museum and you’ll be the first exhibit! Congrats phony!
129. Consider yourself banned for excessive fakeness and toxicity. I actually learn from my mistakes, unlike fakes like you.
130. Make like a tree and leaf me alone, faker. Our bogus friendship is done.
131. I’m serving this fraudulent relationship with divorce papers. Let’s end this sham for good! See ya never!
132. Sorry, all fake defective friends are being recalled. Remove yourself from my life and never contact me again!