Nails can be such a pain sometimes, especially if you have a lot of them and they’re not all shaped the same way. So when you’re thinking of ways to make yourself smile, nail puns are one of the best options out there.

Nail Puns

While some people think that nail puns are cheesy and lame, they’re actually quite hilarious and make us laugh every time we read them. Whether you’re just sharing funny nail puns on social media or writing them on your nails, you’ll definitely find your favorite funny nail puns here.

1. The nail you’re not using is a terrible nail.

2. You can do much better than that.

3. You’re my new favorite nail.

4. My nails are all over the place.

5. Nails, no more.

6. Get a grip on your nails.

7. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

8. It’s all about the nails.

9. It’s a new nail, you can’t expect a new nail.

10. I don’t want to brag, but I have a lot of nails.

11. You can paint your own nails.

12. I love the smell of cuticle oil in the morning.

13. I don’t know, you’re just nailing it.

14. I am so nailous!

15. What do you call a manicure?

16. What’s up with the nail polish?

17. I’m a little bit nervous about the nails.

18. Nail art is my thing.

19. I have a lot of nails.

20. We’re all about the nail.

21. You’re such a nailing guy.

22. We have a lot of nails.

23. You can put them in your mouth and pull out.

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24. The best thing about getting your nails done is that you can be yourself and not worry about what other people think.

25. I’m so nailous!

26. I’ll put a nail in your coffin.

27. My nails are so long that I can get them in my mouth and use them as a spoon.

28. Nail polish is my favorite hobby.

29. Let’s paint the kitchen red.

30. Nails don’t lie.

31. Don’t let the sun shine on your head!

32. Don’t you just love it when a nail pops?

33. My nails are so long I can drive a nail through my nose and hang it on my wall.

34. My hands are too big for my feet.

35. I know how to use my nails, I just keep ‘em in my purse.

36. Why should I paint my nails? It takes time.

37. You look like you have a nail stuck to your face.

38. My nails are too short to hang myself.

39. The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.

40. I just got my nails done. They look really cool.

41. I’ll get my nails done, but not all the way.

42. I don’t do nails, I do fingers.

43. If you see my nails, don’t ask me to hang out.

44. My nails are too long to be driving a nail into a tree trunk.

45. My nails are too short to hang a noose.

Funny Nail Puns46. If you have a long, painted nail, it means you are not going out that much

47. I’m the nail in the coffin.

48. I’m the nail in the wall.

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49. I’m the nail in the wood.

50. Nails make a great team.

51. I’m all about nail polish.

52. Nail polish is a girl’s best friend.

53. No one’s nails are as nice as yours, but I love your nails.

54. Nails, no more, no less.

55. When you put your hands in your pockets, your fingers are touching your nails.

56. If your nails are yellow, you’re a lemon.

57. The nail polish is off, now let’s talk about the nails.

58. A nail is a lady’s best friend.

59. You can use a hammer and nails like a normal person.

60. Nails are like socks. You never know when they’re going to pop up.

61. A nail file is like a man’s best friend.

62. I like to work with my hands, but I’m not that good at it.

63. My hands are like two nails, so I need a hammer.

64. I’m not going to marry you if you don’t have long, painted nails.

65. I can’t believe that you’re not wearing a glove on your finger.

66. A little nail polish never hurt anyone.

67. It’s not a nail in your shoe, it’s a nail in your shoe.

68. Don’t throw away that nail clipper, give it to a homeless man.

69. When my nails are long, they look like a manicurist.

70. Let’s cut our fingernails, then we can eat the meat.

71. When your nails are long, you’re getting older, and when you’re older, you’re getting younger.

72. I’m going to eat all the nails on your hand.

73. My fingers are crossed that I get to play with my new puppy this weekend.

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74. I want to see how many times I can say “nail” before you break up with me.

75. My nails aren’t painted, they’re just painted!

76. Why do I have to paint my nails? They’re already painted.

77. I don’t want to be like you. I want to be like me.

78. Let me give you a manicure and a pedicure.

79. I love the way you make my nail polish look like nail polish.

80. My nail polish is so pretty, it’s going to look even prettier with a little chipping.

81. If you think I’m pretty, you should see my pedicure.

82. I just finished painting my nails and I’m already bored.

83. Why do you keep picking at your nails? You’re making them worse!

84. I’m not sure if I like the color on my nails, it’s a little too purple.

85. Let’s go to the nail salon and get manicures.

If you are searching for funny nail puns, you may also check out our collection of Hilarious Mushroom Puns, Funny Bully Puns, and Hilarious Lemon Puns.

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