Do you know what’s great about weed? Well, for one thing…

It Makes Almost Anyone Funnier!

And for another… It Makes Almost Everyone More Creative!

Weed has always been a catalyst for good wordplay, and today more than ever, people are using it to spark their wit and creativity. These clever high-themed puns will get you high—in a good way—and make almost anyone who reads them smile. Whether you’re looking for a caption for an Instagram photo of you and your bong, or you need something clever to put in a card, these stoned-themed puns are perfect.

High Puns

They’re short, funny, and will make basically anyone smile. Take a look and find your favorite high-themed pun.
Just remember: Just because these high puns standard is so high, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth a shot!

1. I’ve got a high-pitched laugh.

2. He was a very high-profile guy.

3. It’s hard to be high and low at the same time.

4. He was definitely a high class guy.

5. I can’t see how that is high class.

6. I’m so high strung.

7. She was a very high strung lady.

8. There’s no such thing as a low high.

9. That’s just clawful.

10. You can’t have too much of a good thing.

11. I don’t like being the center of attention.

12. I’m so high strung; my cat has a heart attack every time I get stressed out.

13. I would climb the highest mountain if it meant I could be with you.

14. I’m so high strung; when I get nervous, I have to run around the block three times before I can face someone.

15. I was born on third base, and I think that’s where I’ll stay.

16. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

17. Don’t make me high maintenance.

18. It’s just too much car for me.

19. He’s so high he makes angels cry.

20. I’m a little bit nervous about this one.

21. I’ve been drinking too much KoolAid.

22. He’s had a few brews.

23. She’s high as a kite.

24. I’m on cloud nine.

25. You’re high as a kite.

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26. I’m gonna give you the high five.

27. I think I’m gonna puke.

28. I feel like a jet engine just took off in my head.

29. That jet engine just took off in my head.

30. I’m having a stroke.

31. I’m having an “AhHa!” experience.

32. I’m getting a “click” in my brain.

33. I’m having a cerebral orgasm.

34. It’s so high it’s gotta be released!

35. This is a very high concept album.

36. He’s got a very high I.Q.

37. It’s hard to get high with him around.

38. He’s not just another pretty face.

39. What he lacks in looks, he makes up for in brains.

40. He’s so high above us, he doesn’t even have a choice about whether or not to help us.

41. It’s not that he’s so smart; it’s that he has such an incredible I.Q.

42. He’s got more than a high I.Q.

43. I.Q. stands for Intelligence Quotient

44. My I.Q. is lower than a gnat’s ass.

45. Don’t bug me; I’m trying to think.

46. I.Q. is not the same thing as genius.

47. A genius is someone who grabs your attention with his brilliance.

48. But someone with an I.Q. is often so obvious, you wonder why no one ever thought of it before.

49. The difference between genius and I.Q. is genius has an element of surprise.

50. Genius is a gift.

51. I.Q. is something you can work on.

52. I.Q. is something you can teach.

53. But genius is something that is either in you or it isn’t.

54. It is beyond control.

55. A true genius is often misunderstood.

56. They are often brilliant at making money but completely oblivious to what makes their products successful.

57. The Gnome on the Road is NOT a true genius. He just has a very high I.Q.

58. It is my belief Gnome was cheated out of his genius due to the marketing morons he had to work with.

59. I don’t know what his I.Q. would be now if he didn’t have those marketing morons to hold him back.

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60. I.Q. is not the same thing as being smart. Being smart is necessary but not sufficient for achieving great things.

61. Einstein was not only one of the smartest men who ever lived. He was also one of the most creative and had an incredible work ethic.

62. Someone with an I.Q. will get the job done. They won’t be brilliant, but they won’t be a complete dumb ass either.

63. But someone with an I.Q. will never be a genius.

64. A genius is someone who is so far above us we can’t even imagine how brilliant he is.

65. A genius is like a god to us.

66. Like I said earlier, it’s hard to get high with someone who has an I.Q. as high as Gnome.

67. But it is possible.

68. Even with someone as high strung as me.

69. You just have to find the right strain of cannabis for your chemistry.

70. There’s a strain of cannabis that would get me giggling nonstop for days.

71. It would make me want to paint, write music, design clothes, and create masterpieces.

72. She’s so high, she thinks the world should stop.

73. He’s so high, he thinks the grass is greener on the other side.

74. I was just wondering, how high would you have to be to not care?

75. I’m only as high as a kite when it comes to my money.

76. I got high off the fumes while writing that one.

77. You can’t see the forest for the trees.

78. It’s hard to be a nerd when you’re high.

79. I’m so high right now, I can see the world from God’s perspective.

80. He got high on life and just decided to go all the way.

81. Don’t judge me. I’m just high on life.

82. Life is high. Get over it!

83. I feel like a kid in a candy store.

84. There’s no use crying over spilled milk.

85. Don’t try this at home, kids.

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86. We got ‘em! We got ‘em right here!

87. What do you call a high class honky tonk?

88. A cowboy bar!

89. The party never stops at a high class party.

90. It’s time for the real party. Let’s get high!

91. Don’t be a mollycoddle. Use your noodle!

92. I’m feeling’ high class.

93. She’s my high class piece.

94. I feel so high class riding in this car.

95. She’s my high class wrap.

96. The best way to get high is to help others get high.

97. I don’t smoke pot. I gloat!

98. You can’t fake it ‘til you make it.

99. You can’t buy it with money either.

100. I’m feelin’ superduper high class.

101. That’s what she said.

102. I’m feeling so super duper high class.

103. He’s so high he squeaks when he walks.

104. She’s got more high notes in her than an opera singer.

105. I’m sitting here with a jack-o-lantern grin.

106. I’m feeling ten feet tall.

107. I feel like I could run a mile and jump over a mountain and still feel like I had enough energy to take on the world.

108. Let’s get high and mighty

109. As long as it’s not illegal, I don’t care if it’s heroin or tea.

110. My head is so high right now. I bet you think I have a potbelly.

111. That’s a pretty low hanging fruit.

112. Let’s get high on this!

113. That’s not a compliment, by the way. A real one would say, “he’s got more lows in him than a Himalayan mountain climber.”

114. I’m just high enough to know that.

115. I’m just high enough to want to take on the world.

116. I’m so high right now, I can see the world from where I sit.

117. Too much info, my friend. Give me just enough to keep me guessing.

118. I’m so high right now. I don’t even care what you write about me.

119. I’m too high to respond to any of your gibes.

120. I’m too stoned to remember that.


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