Looking for some freaky quotes for him to make him go, “Huh?”? We have rounded up the best collection of funny quotes, sayings, captions, a status that will surely make him go “Huh?”.

Sometimes when you want to make someone feel special, you say something weird or just plain odd. But if he or she is not familiar with your bizarre way of talking or behaving, he or she may get a bit confused.

Freaky Quotes For Him

1. “A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.” –Ecclesiastes 79

2. “When I’m old and gray and wrinkled, will you still love me?” — Unknown

3. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” —Author Unknown

4. “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” –J.M. Barrie

5. “You can’t fall in love with a man who doesn’t love himself.” –Elvis Presley

6. “He’s so cute when he’s angry.” –Unknown

7. “A man should never marry a woman who will outlive him.” –Oscar Wilde

8. “I want to be married to the man I love, not just for a day or two weeks. I want to be married to the man I love for a lifetime.” —Martha Stewart

9. “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” —Groucho Marx

10. “If you don’t have any money, you need to get a job. If you have no job, you need to start your own business. And if you can’t do that, you need to go on welfare.” —Bill Cosby

11. “A man who has money can afford to lose it; a man who has nothing loses everything.” —Mark Twain

12. “You know how some people are always complaining about their jobs? I think they should get a new one.” —Jack Handey

13. “When I was in the fifth grade, I thought the way to solve world peace was to get the United States and Russia to trade territories.” —Drew Barrymore

14. “If you’re going to be a guy, you have to be tough. If you’re going to be a girl, you have to be smart.” —Sandra Bullock

15. “You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes. If he has good shoes, he must be a good man. If he has bad shoes, he must be a bad man. If he has no shoes, he is probably a communist.” –Author Unknown

16. “I don’t want a husband who will always tell me what to do.” —Claire Danes

17. “I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it’s not about you.” —Unknown

18. “The best way to find out if you’re in love is to get married. If you can stand the pain of being married, then you’re in love

19. “He said he didn’t love me anymore. I asked him why. He said, ‘Because you never do anything for me anymore.’” — Fran Lebowitz

20. “Women have a tendency to fall in love with a guy who has money… and then they find out that he is, in fact, a big phony.” — Dave Barry

21. “If a man says he doesn’t care about looks, run. Because chances are he doesn’t want to meet your mother.” — Anonymous

22. “A woman will always forgive a man for being tall. A man will only forgive a woman for being short.” — Anonymous

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23. “The most important thing a man can do for his woman is… not commit suicide.” — Dr. Joyce Brothers

24. “A woman will forgive a man for almost anything… as long as he is not boring.” — Anonymous

25. “A man will forgive a woman for almost anything… as long as she does not take too long to decide.” — Anonymous

26. “Most women like a man who is direct. But not if he’s mean.” — Dave Barry

27. “A man will never change until he understands that the main reason a woman leaves him is… because he was never interesting enough in the first place.” — Anonymous

28. “Women are attracted to men with a powerful sense of purpose. They respond to strength. They are attracted to men who are self-made.” — Dave Barry

29. “When a man tells you how pretty you are, believe him. It’s a compliment.” — Dave Barry

30. “He told me he didn’t love me anymore. I asked him why. He said, ‘Because you never do anything for me anymore.’ That’s true. I hadn’t noticed.” — Fran Lebowitz

31. “Men don’t understand grief. They don’t know how to have someone love you so much they are willing to die for you. Men don’t know the pain of losing someone you love until that person is taken away from you.” — Anonymous

32. “Husbands are like flowers. They both have thorns and roses.” — Rose Kennedy

33. “A man should be who he is and not what other people think he should be.” — Ernest Hemingway

34. “Guys hate being the weaker sex. It’s just in their nature.” — George Carlin

35. “A woman’s place is in the home. But if she doesn’t want to stay there, I don’t think she should be allowed to vote.” — Ronald Reagan

36. “Guys are like dogs. If they don’t get enough attention, they go crazy.” — Nancy Jones

37. “Women have a soft spot for everybody except other women.” — Unknown

38. “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” — Bette Davis

39. “I think a woman’s intuition is really just common sense that she hasn’t yet learned to recognize.” — Dolly Parton

40. “Husbands cannot always be right. And when they are wrong, they stay wrong.” — Anonymous

41. “Guys are like buses. They come around once a week, and then they go away forever.” — Gail Fisher

42. “A guy won’t call you pretty until after he knows you are married.” — Unknown

43. “Guys hate it when you correct them even if they have said something stupid.” — Roseanne Barr

44. “It is not attractive to most women to have a strong-willed man who doesn’t give in to her. It is unattractive to most men to have a weak-willed woman who demands they concede control.” — Betty Friedan

45. “A woman is like a teabag. When you first put her in hot water, she is delicate and little; but soon, she will warm up and expand into a larger size; and then, if you continue to boil her, she will become so big she will spill over the top of the pot and into the kitchen sink.” — Unknown

46. “Guys don’t want to hear about your problems unless they can fix them for you.” — Anonymous

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47. “Guys hate it when you tell them something is hard. They always think it will be harder for you.” — Anonymous

48. “I think it is not unreasonable to want to be kissed by the person you are going to marry.” —Jill Johnston

49. “The way a man looks at a woman is the way a priest looks at a sin.” —Gloria Leonard

50. “The most important sex organ in a woman’s body is her brain.” —Maya Angelou

51. “A woman needs a man like a fish needs water.” —Anonymous

52. “Women are like teabags… They have a wonderful aroma, but when you get them in hot water, they just lose their flavor.” —Anon

53. “If a woman hasn’t found her ‘X’ by the time she’s thirty-five, she isn’t looking hard enough.” —Zsa Zsa Gabor

54. “I think it is very unkind to tell a woman she is pretty unless you mean it.” —Marilyn Monroe

55. “I think a woman should be treated like an open book who has the potential to become a great lover.” —Gerald Ledford

56. “Don’t try to change a woman. It’s like trying to change a color. Just show her some attention, and she’ll respond in kind.” —Diana Vreeland

57. “I think it takes a woman about three years to figure out she wants what I want.” —Gary Halbert

58. “Sex is like air. You don’t realize you’re breathing it until it’s gone.” —Anon

59. “A man should think of his wedding night as his girlfriend’s first date with another man.” —Dan Savage

60. “A woman never forgets the first man who tells her she is pretty. That first impression is engraved on her soul. It stays with her for the rest of her life.” —Diana Vreeland

61. “A man is afraid to lose a woman’s love… but a woman is even more afraid that a man will never find it.” —Anonymous

62. “I think a woman always remembers the first man to tell her she was beautiful… and it doesn’t matter if it was her father, her brother, or some stranger. She will always remember it as the moment when she knew she was special.” —Anonymous

63. “A woman needs to hear these words at least five times before she believes them.” —Anonymous

64. “It takes a woman about three years to figure out she wants what I want.” —Gary Halbert

65. “A woman’s anger is like a porcupine’s spines. It can hurt just to be around.” —Anonymous

66. “You have to be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.” — Marilyn Monroe

67. “You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” — The Godfather

68. “I’ve got a great big world to see.” — Elton John

69. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” — Dr. Seuss

70. “The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.” — Albert Einstein

71. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” — Unknown

72. “The only thing that stops a bad day is a good night’s sleep.” — Unknown

73. “I think the problem with sex is that people are always trying to top themselves.” — Erica Jong

74. “There are three things that matter in life How much money you make, how happy you are, and how much you love.” — Warren Buffett

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75. “You can’t be what you can’t see.” — Unknown

76. “If it were easy, everyone would do it.” — Unknown

77. “You don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.” — Unknown

78. “I’m a very ordinary girl. I just want to be loved by the right person.” — Marilyn Monroe

79. “Love is when you take a chance on someone, even if they are wrong for you.” — Unknown

80. “I am not afraid of tomorrow because I’m going to spend it with you.” — Unknown

81. “The best thing about life is that no one tells you what to do, and you only die once.” — Unknown

82. “Don’t wait for the perfect moment. If it doesn’t happen now, when will it?” — Unknown

83. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — David Letterman

84. “A relationship is like a shark. It has to keep moving forward, or it dies.” — Unknown

85. “There is no such thing as a silly question. Only stupid people ask them.” — Unknown

86. “The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I can’t get pregnant.” –Kathy Griffin

87. “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.” –Clifton Fadiman

88. “The best revenge is not to be like them.” –Helen Rowland

89. “When a woman walks through the park, she has to be careful of her health because there’s a good chance she’ll meet a man who will pick her up and put her on top of a softball diamond.” –Joan Rivers

90. “We are all born naked, wet and hungry, and we must learn to take care of ourselves and each other.” –Mother Teresa

91. “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” –Helen Rowland

92. “Women have been accused of many things, but never before have they been accused of being boring.” –Patti Smith

93. “A woman’s place is in the home. She should raise children and keep the house. A woman’s place is not the boardroom, laboratory, battlefield, or even the political arena. A woman’s place is in the home, with her children.” —Margaret Thatcher

94. “If you have a woman’s body, you’re beautiful. If you have a fat ass, you’re still beautiful.” —Natalie Imbruglia

95. “If you can’t get laid on New Year’s Eve, when can you get laid?” —Lily Tomlin

96. “Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they get into hot water.” —Clifton Fadiman

97. “When a woman walks through the park, she has to be careful of her health because there’s a good chance she’ll meet a man who will pick her up and put her on top of a softball diamond.” —Joan Rivers

98. “We are all born naked, wet and hungry, and we must learn to take care of ourselves and each other.” —Mother Teresa

99. “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” —Helen Rowland

100. “Women have been accused of many things, but never before have they been accused of being boring.” —Patti Smith

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