Calendars are a great way to keep track of time and appointments, but when you’re a little too busy to write down all those dates and times, you might need some help keeping things straight.
And while you’re at it, why not make your friends laugh and crack up at your calendar puns? These calendar puns will have everyone chuckling as they realize how much fun the calendar is!
Calendar Puns
If you’ve ever been in the habit of writing down everything on the calendar, these calendar puns will have you laughing as you realize that you’ve been missing some pretty important dates!
1. A man who doesn’t have a calendar is like a woman without makeup.
2. A calendar is like a best friend. You can always count on it.
3. A man with a calendar is like a woman with her heart on her sleeve.
4. The most important thing about a calendar is that you can look back on it.
5. You can’t look at a calendar and tell time.
6. I can’t remember the date without my calendar.
7. We use the calendar to plan the calendar.
8. I can’t remember the date without my calendar.
9. If you’re going to be late, make sure you have a calendar.
10. You can’t use a calendar and tell time at the same time.
11. It’s the only way to know when the next date is.
12. I always carry a calendar around because it never fails.
13. My calendar is my life.
14. The most important thing about a calendar is that you can look back on it.
15. You can’t look at a calendar and tell time.
16. I can’t remember the date without my calendar.
17. We use the calendar to plan the calendar.
18. It’s the end of the year, but the calendar is still on holiday.
19. You’re on the calendar.
20. It’s always the same for you.
21. We’re out of time, but the calendar is still on vacation.
22. I’m on vacation, and I want to get back to work.
23. The calendar is on holiday.
24. I’ll be back next year, but the calendar is on hiatus.
25. I’m on vacation, and I’m not going anywhere.
26. I’ll be back in a couple days, but the calendar is on vacation.
27. I’m on vacation, and I’m not coming back.
28. I’ll be back next year, but the calendar is on holidays.
29. I’m on vacation, and I’m staying put.
30. You’re on vacation, but the calendar is still on break.
31. I’ll be back next year, but the calendar is on holiday.
32. I’m out of time, but the calendar is still on vacation.
33. The calendar is on vacation.
34. You’re out of time, but the calendar is still on holiday.
35. The calendar is on holidays.
36. I’ll be back in a couple days, but the calendar is on holidays.
37. The calendar is a great way to see your whole year.
38. A great year is a great year to look at the calendar.
39. What do you call a day in April? A furlough day.
40. If I was a month, how would you call me? A furlough month.
41. I’ll be out of your hair by the end of the month.
42. Don’t worry, we’ll never forget your birthday again.
43. We’re still a few days away from the end of the year, so we’ve got time.
44. We’ll just use the calendar for today.
45. Just use the calendar for today.
46. You can’t take your calendar off the wall.
47. You can only take your calendar off the wall for special occasions.
48. The calendar is not your friend.
49. You know it’s your birthday when your calendar starts talking to you.
50. I’ll have my calendar on my phone, so I won’t forget.
51. We’ll put a new one on the wall for next year.
52. I put a new calendar on the wall for next year.
53. You can’t get a new calendar in a calendar store.
54. I’m putting a new calendar on the wall for next year.
55. We’ll have a new one up on the wall for next year.
56. I’ll have a new one on the wall for next year.
57. Calendar is not a word.
58. The calendar does not lie.
59. There are only 12 months in a year.
60. If I see it’s a holiday, I’ll be there.
61. The first day of the month is always a new beginning.
62. Don’t ask what the date is.
63. It’s just a number.
64. It’s the beginning of the end of the month.
65. I’m out of here.
66. When the clock strikes 12, I’m going to have some fun.
67. I will be here for the holidays.
68. I’m not on vacation. I’m on a mission.
69. I can’t wait to go back to work.
70. It’s time for the end of the month.
71. I’m gonna have a party and invite all the cats.
72. I can’t wait to get back to the office.
73. Let’s make the most of the month.
74. It’s a new month. Let’s start fresh.
75. A calendar is a great friend.
76. A calendar is the best friend a girl could have.
77. A calendar is like a girlfriend, it never talks back.
78. The only thing better than a calendar is a calendar with a picture of you on it.
79. The only thing worse than a calendar is a calendar without a picture of you on it.
80. A calendar is a tool for the lazy.
81. We’ve got a calendar for the year.
82. It’s not the date, it’s the date that’s important.
83. When you’re dating a man, you need a calendar.
84. A calendar is a great way to get to know someone.
85. It’s the only way to know when the next date is.
86. You can’t remember the dates if you don’t look at the calendar.
87. My family has been together for three generations, and all of them have calendars.
88. A calendar is like a good friend. It’s always there.
89. If you have a calendar, you have time to write in it.
90. If you don’t have a calendar, you have no idea what day it is.
If you are a fan of puns, you may also like Hilarious Lemon Puns, Funny Nail Puns, Hilarious Mushroom Puns. Feel free to share with friends and family on Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Tumblr, Pinterest, and more.