Life is full of bullies, and they’re always trying to make life miserable for other people. Whether it’s kids bullying each other, coworkers bullying their boss, or parents bullying their kids, the bully is always in the spotlight.
Not everyone gets along with everyone else, and sometimes it’s hard to tell who is the bullying and who is the victim. But one thing we can all agree on is that bullies are stupid, and they deserve to get ridiculed for their behavior.
Remember these in an argument with someone who needs a swift kick in the butt, or just use them to lighten up a stressful situation. Who knows? Maybe you’ll catch a glimpse of the ridiculousness of being a bully and change your ways.
These 80 Bully Puns will put a smile on your face and make your bully speechless.
1. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.
2. I don’t care if you are a paperclip; I will still find something wrong with you.
3. I don’t care if you are the pope; I will still find something wrong with you.
4. The bully at school was picking on me, so I went to his house and beat him up.
5. You may be bigger than me, but I bet you don’t know dick about anything.
6. You may have more money than me, but I bet you don’t have any friends.
7. I don’t care if you are the best speller in the world; I will still find something wrong with you.
8. It takes one to know one.
9. You’re so smart, why don’t you tell me something I don’t know?
10. I don’t care how talented you are; I will still find something wrong with you.
11. He just needs a little lovin’ from one of his own.
12. You think you are so tough? You ain’t that tough.
13. Don’t be so smart; it makes you vulnerable to attack.
14. You know what they say about guys with one testicle? They always hang out together.
15. He’s just jealous because you have a great relationship with your dad, and he doesn’t.
16. That’s why he keeps trying to sabotage your life.
17. Jealousy is an ugly monster.
18. The bully at school was picking on me
19. I’m so tired of being bullied.
20. Let’s see who the real alpha bully is.
21. Cowardice is a disease, not a virtue.
22. I don’t fear the bully. I ignore him.
23. I am truly the big bad wolf.
24. I am really the alpha bully.
25. The bully always gets his comeuppance.
26. The alpha bully always prevails.
27. Ignoring bullies doesn’t make them go away.
28. Bullycide is as inevitable as death and taxes.
29. Don’t feed the troll!
30. He who feeds the troll is cursed for all eternity.
31. You’re a real asshole if you don’t join in.
32. I have a dream. I am finally able to kick this bully’s ass with my bare hands.
33. I’m tired of being bullied.
34. My bully is finally getting his comeuppance.
35. No more, Mr. Nice Guy. It’s go time!
36. He was a real piss ant.
37. Why don’t you piss off and stick your head in a fan?
38. Don’t mess with me. I’m a real asshole.
39. I don’t play games. I’m a straight shooter.
40. Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it.
41. You wanna see some really nasty bullying? Watch two guys fighting over a pretty girl. That’s nasty.
42. Don’t make me laugh; I’ll fart in your general direction.
43. I may be small, but I’m a real pain in the ass.
44. I dare you to say something smart to my face.
45. If looks could kill… I’d be a murder suspect.
46. What do you call a black guy with a master’s degree? Doctor Negro.
47. A little courage goes a long way.
48. You’ve been warned.
49. The bully has been served with papers.
50. My bully is big and bad.
51. Don’t mess with my friends or me. We are not to be trifled with.
52. I dare you to mess with my crew and me. We are the real deal.
53. I dare you not to laugh at these.
54. The bully puppy that just won’t stop.
55. That poor kid with no friends.
56. “I can take care of myself.” – Really, Brian? Prove it!
57. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A dead fish.
58. The bully that just won’t go away.
59. Why do they put salt on the rim of the glass at restaurants? So you remember where it is in case you need to throw up.
60. “You’re nobody until somebody gets you.” – Skip Batiste
61. The bully that just won’t stop.
62. That kid who needs to learn how to fight.
63. Poor kid with no friends.
64. You can do it! You can do it! You can do it!
65. Get real, Shorty!
66. Can you believe those jerks?
67. That was a vicious sucker punch!
68. Don’t let them get away with it!
69. Stand up for yourself!
70. If they hit a fat kid, it is not funny.
71. Cowardly bullies never win.
72. Fight back or forever hold your peace.
73. I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who can solve any problem.
74. You don’t have a monopoly on toughness.
75. Cowards make me sick.
76. Don’t be afraid to fight back. It makes you a man (or woman).
77. Bullies are just begging for a comeuppance.
78. Kick their ass.
79. If you can’t do it with your hands, do it with your feet.
80. Kick them where it really counts.